baring | ( APP for come

content warning for subject material! while brief and not graphic, these topics are mentioned: radiation effects, blood, violence, murder, death, self-hate, codependency/unhealthy relationships. so much. the 100 is so much.

PLAYER
Name: kat
Age: 18+
Contact:

talldarkandgay | discord: katastrosity#8413
Permission Post: here
Reserve: n/a

CHARACTER
Name: Bellamy Blake
True Name: The same, he doesn't get a cool title.
Canon: The 100 (S4x13 - 6 months in rather than post time-skip)
Age: 24? because how do the 100 timeline?
History: The Life and War Crimes of Bellamy Blake.

Powers/Abilities: Human, to be clear. Sadly, no superpowers.

BORN IN SPACE/MILD RADIATION TOLERANCE — presumably through genetical engineering that is mentioned all of once, the arkadians have a higher adaptability against solar radiation due to higher levels of exposure in space. this basically means survivability on the ground is possible because the nuclear radiation is low enough to be filtered through his system without effects. this doesn't mean immunity as evidenced with what happens to some of their people when the acid rain begins. when the radiation climbs from yellow to red, he's in as much peril as anyone.
CRASH COURSE IN SURVIVAL — it's likely that bellamy either took earth skills as well, albeit without the 100, or that his mother encouraged him to be self-taught. whatever the reason ( and in spite of initial insistence of rebellion ), he's knowledgeable in the importance of shelter, crafting makeshift knives and spears, hunting ( though, not the best tracker ) weaponizing people, that sort of thing. he's the one that bands together a guard of their own, that demands teenagers to be soldiers. some of this vague experience came from his time as a cadet with the guard on board the ark.
THE HEART — this is about to get real my friends are my power!!!! up in here, but. funnily enough, the guy that went from being a selfish prick that cared about nothing but his little sister transitioned into someone that would put his head on the chopping block for his people, again and again. this is not a superpower but probably bellamy's hugest flaw and greatest strength. he inspires people to fight, to live another day simply because he won't do anything less. that and being prone to motivating speeches.

Inventory:
— the threadbare clothes on his back
— an old pair of wire cutters

Job History:

MY SISTER, MY RESPONSIBILITY — from the day octavia was placed in his arms, he was appointed her keeper. his longest standing job is to protect her, regardless of whether she truly needs his protection. having two children is a rarity on the ark as it is a crime punishable by death, which is something that ruled both of their childhoods. he has the best intentions but these good meanings never go over well for him. still, he's made nearly every decision with octavia in mind.
CADET ON THE ARK — his mother did what she could with what she had and secured him a potential rise in the social hierarchy on board by getting him a spot on the guard. his training is completely glossed over but based on his inclination to act as a soldier on the ground, we can assume that it entailed the basics of firearm training, drills, patrol rotations, and law enforcement.
CUSTODIAN — surely as exhilarating as it sounds. when he turned in his guard uniform and lost his mother to death and his sister to juvenile lock-up, they handed him a mop. he got off easy comparatively. i imagine his duties were general tidiness, maintaining waste compliance, cleaning/emptying the latrines, and anything else asked of him by anyone with rank higher than him.
CO-LEADER: — alongside clarke griffin, he has done everything to keep the 100 and then the arkers alive, much to the detriment of anyone standing against them. bellamy doesn't face nearly half as many repercussions for his horrifically ugly decision-making skills when his back is against the wall, but the truth is that he's as guilty as she is, if not more so. after all, he condemned 320 people on the ark to death by stealing a radio to keep their people in space from knowing the earth was safe. his kill count, directly or indirectly, intended or unintended, it's in the thousands if you coun't the 364 people he cast out of the bunker by opening the hatch. he is strategic, brutal, and prefers to focus on reinforcing an area rather than meeting their opponents directly in battle, but he's also accredited with infiltrating enemy camp, collaborating with traitors, and assisting with a full-on prison break. he's open to negotiation, might even offer himself up as a hostage, but he will murder to save the people he loves.

Suppressions: His own emotional needs. Bellamy’s been conditioned to show up for his family first and then himself second. His sister, his responsibility. To parent her even while she has a parent. To be the one to remind her what will happen to their mother if she’s discovered on a daily basis, to ensure that she doesn’t have the very human reactions she’s entitled to. Neither one of them asked to be born. His harbored resentment for the system and for Aurora, for being the one that survived. He has an unending amount of survivor’s guilt that started the day he got his mother floated and hasn’t stopped growing since.

The fact that he’s brave because he was never allowed to be scared. ❝Fear is a demon. Close your eyes and you tell yourself that you are not afraid. That is how you slay the demon.❞ He despises the force of Aurora’s expectations on him, subconsciously, and then turns around and holds the people around him to the same standards. Because who they are and who they have to be to survive are two different things—a destructive truth that’s lived in him longer than they’ve been at war.

The unparalleled fear that people listen to him ( really, care what he has to say for the first time in his life ) and act accordingly, misconstruing his words: Charlotte, Wells, Murphy. The control, the power, the newfound responsibility. His hands have been dripping with blood since he shot the Chancellor to get on the dropship and protect his sister down on Earth, and they are still stained. They're still wet. The faces of all the people he's killed that haunt his dreams because he can't forget. He's sick with it; sick of himself, sick of his fury, sick of his weakness.

All of it, each regret because he wanted something previously undefined, something where people like the Blakes could have a life, not a farce. A chance. Freedom. A world where people like him, people who begin as nothing, can have anything.

The impact on him of having people to influence his moral compass. Octavia and Clarke are the two people in the universe he absolutely descends into madness over. Yet, he would trade himself willingly for any of his friends. Vulnerability, crying, being terrified of losing people, that's only ever had to apply to his little sister. Now it stretches to hold more people than Bellamy can watch twenty-four seven. The one thing suppressed to the point of being unthinkable is that the root of his feelings ( file not found ) for Clarke Griffin are overlapping—fear that she'll leave him again, a fantasy that she isn't repulsed by him and his decisions, a desire to be limitless when it comes to her requests. And a completely deranged sense of codependency fueled by being needed and needing her, like supply and demand.

Greatest Fear: People die because of him. Either by his hand or because he exists, same difference.

Greatest Desire: Life won't always be this hard. A place where everyone is safe and happy, and doesn't have to pick up a weapon again.

Greatest Regret: Leaving Clarke behind on Earth.

Sample: over @ the test drive

( APP for come_sailaway )